I have things to share that I cannot easily post on my fb account. This is more of a rant but I need some medium to release my thoughts about certain things. Some people may give negative comments about me but I guess I don't care anymore. It may actually help me to solve the issues. So...this is it!
With all honesty, I respect the kind of family he has. However, their mind set is far from my principles in life. I am having a hard time in accepting that. I can see that my husband has a tinge of their attitude but still, he stands out compared to them. It's actually difficult to mingle with them if I can't accept them completely . Yes, I am really unfair to them and to my husband. I am trying my super best to cope up with them but my feelings dictates differently to what my mind's telling me what to do. So it's like, I'll do it, but deep in side, I don't want to.
If his family is there, he acts as if he's willing to give everything for them. Am I jealous? Maybe yes. But part of me said that it's more than that. He is a family man now, but there are times when I see the same single guy he was, the brother who's willing to extend his hand to help his siblings in surviving the life they chose. He is a good guy, isn't he? Again, this is a concern of how they live their life and my belief that they should be responsible enough to raise their own family without any help from other people. If he's always there together with my mother-in-law, how will they learn that it is not enough to eat 3 times a day only without thinking of the future?
When it comes to us, I'll start with money matter. He holds his own salary. At first, he gave me his ATM card but when he didn't tell me his exact salary and mentioned a different amount, I left it at home and from then on, he didn't give it back to me. I never tried to ask it back but I am actually waiting for him to give it back. When I was sick, I had this feeling that he's somewhat tired of taking good care of me. I saw it in his eyes and the way he put the medicine cream on my back. I compared his gestures to the way my mom and my sister treats my wounds. He is not that caring when I am sick. And I miss my mom so much because of that. :(
Marriage is indeed difficult. Its combining two different people, with different ideas, different beliefs, different mind. He is an independent person who can actually survive on his own. Because of being too independent, I sometimes feel that I am not needed. On the other hand, I am a talkative person which is his exact opposite. I like to talk about the problems and issues. I am a disciplinary person. I don't like nurturing people who doesn't have any good ambition and so lazy to work in order to survive. I like to be taken care of, even if I can do it by my self. It's a different feeling if some one you love will show effort to help you and take care of you.
I feel like I am a self centered person here. I just hope that these differences will be settled soon. I am praying to God to touch my heart and to show me the right decision to make...
With all honesty, I respect the kind of family he has. However, their mind set is far from my principles in life. I am having a hard time in accepting that. I can see that my husband has a tinge of their attitude but still, he stands out compared to them. It's actually difficult to mingle with them if I can't accept them completely . Yes, I am really unfair to them and to my husband. I am trying my super best to cope up with them but my feelings dictates differently to what my mind's telling me what to do. So it's like, I'll do it, but deep in side, I don't want to.
When it comes to us, I'll start with money matter. He holds his own salary. At first, he gave me his ATM card but when he didn't tell me his exact salary and mentioned a different amount, I left it at home and from then on, he didn't give it back to me. I never tried to ask it back but I am actually waiting for him to give it back. When I was sick, I had this feeling that he's somewhat tired of taking good care of me. I saw it in his eyes and the way he put the medicine cream on my back. I compared his gestures to the way my mom and my sister treats my wounds. He is not that caring when I am sick. And I miss my mom so much because of that. :(
Marriage is indeed difficult. Its combining two different people, with different ideas, different beliefs, different mind. He is an independent person who can actually survive on his own. Because of being too independent, I sometimes feel that I am not needed. On the other hand, I am a talkative person which is his exact opposite. I like to talk about the problems and issues. I am a disciplinary person. I don't like nurturing people who doesn't have any good ambition and so lazy to work in order to survive. I like to be taken care of, even if I can do it by my self. It's a different feeling if some one you love will show effort to help you and take care of you.
I feel like I am a self centered person here. I just hope that these differences will be settled soon. I am praying to God to touch my heart and to show me the right decision to make...
